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Saturday 1 April 2023

Pals

New Month Old Post: 1st posted 19th February 2019 

Bill and Jack

This is Bill and Jack. They had this postcard of themselves made from two separate photographs during the nineteen-thirties. They look like a well-turned-out American songwriting duo: Rogers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin, perhaps. Why they had it  made, or how they used it, I have no idea. 

Bill, on the left, was my grandma’s brother. He remained at home with his parents into his thirties. Jack lived with them. Jack was undoubtedly the livelier of the pair, and Bill, rather his sidekick. In the makeshift pre-war census known as the 1939 Register, Jack is constantly on the go as a window cleaner, transport driver and police despatch rider. Bill is simply a general labourer in a paper mill. People remembered a sign on the gate: “Let Jack Do It”. When Jack played in the village football team, Bill had only a supporting role as treasurer. When Jack played drums in a nineteen-thirties dance band, Bill would sit on stage next to him, even though, as someone remembered, “he did not have a musical bone in his body”.

Bill died aged 33. It may have been linked to smoking. My grandma gave me a box of around 40 complete nineteen-thirties cigarette card sets, which I believe had been collected by Bill.  

Jack had Bill buried in one half of a double grave with a single stone surround. He reserved the other half for himself, and had his name inscribed on the vacant plot with the dates to be added later. The stone surround was divided by a small marker bearing the word “Pals”.

I know what many may be thinking, something that would never have been thought in an out-of-the-way, self-contained, nineteen-thirties Yorkshire village. Again, I don’t know, but two years after Bill’s death, Jack got married. It was during the war, somewhere in the Midlands. Jack was thirty-nine and his wife, twenty-two. They returned to Yorkshire and had several children. The names and dates of both Jack and his wife are now inscribed on the once vacant half of the double grave.

Although I never met Bill, I have two memories of Jack. The first was at my grandma’s house when I was no more than four or five. Jack was smoking heavily, talking in a loud voice, agitated about something. Every other word was “bloody”: “bloody” this, “bloody” that, with the occasional “bugger” thrown in. He spat out the words with the cigarette smoke, jerking and shaking his head, making his whole face wobble in emphasis of all he said. I don’t know what it was about but he seemed entirely unconcerned that a young child was watching and listening.

The second time was at a football match seven or eight years later. He was Secretary of the local amateur league for teams such as Thorne Colliery and the railwaymen, pub teams like the Victoria and the Buchanan, village teams including Pollington, Eastrington and Swinefleet, and even a team of Methodists. It was Jack’s duty to present the cup to the winning finalists. All gathered around for the ceremony. I wondered what I was about to hear. Jack made a short speech. His face still wobbled in emphasis of all he said, but he did it without saying “bloody” or “bugger” even once.

18 comments:

  1. Yeah, my gaydar is certainly going off about Jack and Bill. Jack's subsequent marriage after Bill's death doesn't detract from it. Lots of people are bisexual, you know. What's probably more unusual is that both Jack and Bill remained single for as long as they did instead of getting married for protective cover, which was the more standard way of hiding in those days.

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    1. It seems unusually close, especially the dual grave. It is also interesting that Jack's wife was so much younger - 17 years is a big gap at the age of 22.

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  2. Old family stories and observations always seem to hold up so well. People, their views, their attitudes, their peculiarities, all connected to us and they are part of our genetic makeup.

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    1. It is interesting that although my mum talked about other members of her family, Bill she never did. Most of this came second-hand from others. It's a fascinating tale, though.

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  3. A beautiful account Tasker. Why can't men or women be platonic "pals" without winks and nudges from others?

    I bet the Methodist team's goalkeeper was good at saving - just like Jesus.

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    1. I really don't know. Some aspects seem very pally.
      Good one. Do you think he also played rugby - he might have been good at conversions.

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    2. Ha-ha! I am sure he's a footballer because he scored two for Arsenal yesterday afternoon. They beat Leeds United by four goals to one.

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  4. What an interesting account! It sounds as if Jack was loyal. Did the cigarettes kill him or did he live to an old age?

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  5. Well, who knows. They clearly loved each other, whether or not that love was ever physical. I wouldn't rule it out, even if Jack did go on to marry.

    As Cara says in "Brideshead Revisited": "I know of these romantic friendships of the English and the Germans...I think they are very good if they do not go on too long…It is a kind of love that comes to children before they know its meaning. In England it comes when you are almost men; I think I like that. It is better to have that kind of love for another boy than for a girl."

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    1. It could have been either, but what is very clear is how distressed Jack was.

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  6. I think it is sweet wanting to be buried with someone you love, whatever the relationship. Jack could also have loved his wife dearly, though a threesome in a grave is somewhat strange.

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    1. It certainly seems strange from today's perspective. I guess that Jack's family may know more

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  7. Love comes in many shapes, and like some others here have said, does not necessarily have to be physical. And even if - so what? They loved each other, full stop. I hope Jack‘s marriage was good, too, and Bill‘s shadow did not make it hard for Jack‘s wife.

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    1. So what, indeed. Jack's wife and family must have known how important Bill was to Jack to have still used the reserved grave. It must also have been strange for the children to bury their mother in a plot with the "Pals" inscription.

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  8. Sexual orientation is not fixed. It often shifts in men about the age of 30 and thereafter - from attraction for men to that for women and the opposite: from women to men. Bill's death, Jack's ensuing loneliness and the pressures may have contributed to the shift in Jack. Roderick

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  9. Sorry: "pressures of war." The prospect of imminent death and the lack of emotional ties and comfort led to many hasty and unhappy marriages in WW2. Roderick

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    1. Attraction is much more complicated than once thought. I don't know how good the marriage was, but, as mentioned above, a 17-year age difference seems big at age 22. Of course, this was a time when few marriages broke up even if they broke down.

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